Friday, September 15, 2006

How Things Are

Things are good. It's been a while since I could honestly say that. Not that there are no dark ominous clouds on the horizon. Things are good in a sort of rainy saturday type way. In light of all that's happened this summer, things are looking up. Mostly I am encouraged that I have so many friends now. It's incredible. I need to really be faithful in my friendships so they don't slip away though. Being so far from everyone makes it easy to be complacent. Y'know something else? This is the first time in a long time in my life (maybe the first time ever) that I haven't had this nagging desire to just disappear. To go off somewhere and never be heard of again. I don't want that anymore! It's so refreshing. I don't know what did it. Maybe the realization that I really don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. That would explain alot of things actually. Anyhow, my new passion in my friends. I have something to look forward to at the end of each week because I know I will be with like minded people who care whether I live or die. It's amazing. And it helps so much.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

No man is a failure who is enjoying life.
William Feather

Aggravation of aggaravations.

I think I am driving people away because I am so desperate to spend time with them. Just last night another person I met on the internet said they might call me and I interpretted it as - let's go on a cross country adventure together. I made a fool of myself and kinda freaked her out I think. *sigh* what a dork.

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.
Charlie Chaplin

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

"...a little better all the time (it can't get any worse)..." - the Beatles

Things are looking up. There are still some emotional issues that are not going to be fun to face, but everyday I am feeling more equiped to handle it. I have finally gotten to the point where my daily introspection is no longer morbid or heart wrenching - at least not constantly. I see a sunrise on the horizon, sort of like 4 or 5 in the morning when the sun is still no where in sight but the sky seems somehow just a little but brighter. I have been having many conversations (which is like my bread and butter) with many different people. I have also been meeting new people (which is like my elixer of life) and thinking alot about how I have handled relationships in the past and ways that I might change or maybe should not change. I am still a little soar from the proverbial nife wound to my heart (actually it fealt more like a jagged blunt object) but I feel i am slowly healing. And *sigh* I am seeing a therapist. More for the sake of my job than anything. My employers want to be sure that I am okay, which is nice, so it was sort of an unspoken mandatory suggestion. It will probably end up doing some good. as far as church goes *another sigh* I still have alot of thinking to do. It's not that I don't believe, it's just that, so many of the conventions we have adopted and attached to our "faith" seem a little...well, empty. And pointless. I think faith is much simpler than we imagined. Obviously I have some soul searching to do. I am still reading the Bible and dialoging (monologing?) with God every day. If you want to know what I believe at this point, see the Apostles Creed. I think it is still a good summery of my beliefs.
Anyways music is looking good right now. I am putting together a set and Alva Edison will be rehearsing soon. Yes, Alva is back. Maybe for good this time, who knows. Only now the drummer has a mustache. Yeah. It's a little disturbing, but I think that's why he did it. Well until next time then...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Back in the ring

Alva Edison is re-forming for some shows in the next couple months

I have made at least a dozen new friends in the last four days

I am back at work with more focus and resolve than I've had in a while
I bought a new wallet and some new sunglasses
In the words of the Shout Out Louds,
"Let's call this a comeback..."

Monday, September 11, 2006

New Friends and Old Friends

Happy Birthday Bekah McLean!
Last night I went to a birthday cocktail party (done the way it should be with the men wearing suites and the ladies wearing cocktail dresses).  I have not had that much fun in such a long time.  I reconnected with so many old friends and met a whole bunch of really good people for the first time.  Good things will come of this.  I hope I can stay in touch with everyone.  And I hope Bekah got some sleep before her Birthday brunch the next morning.  I tried to help out by driving some people home, but there were still a few stragglers when I left.  So many great people were there.  I had a wonderful time.  I hope it’s not the last.

Friday, September 01, 2006

28 years

Happy Birthday to me.