Thursday, December 30, 2010

Everything is Groovey

Thinking about going off the grid for a while. Maybe I just need time to think. Not like I haven't had three years or more of time to think. I got nothin'. No answers (although that's no surprise). At peace with myself, for what it's worth. That's more than some can say I guess. I don't think most of my family really gets what it is I'm after. Maybe one or two people. It's not something I can put into words. There is something I want. Or maybe it's a lot of things. Or maybe it's not a "thing" at all. Trucking has seemed the best way to get at it until this year. Now I am thinking it's potential may have reached it's limites, but I don't have a viable alternative. Suggestions I've gotten recently were so far off they were almost funny if it weren't so sad how little they understood what I really wanted. It was like I was speaking a different language. I recently thought I had found someone who would get me. Now I just feel like an idiot for even trying.
No, I am not consistent. I don't try to be. Consistency is not something I value very highly. So it doesn't bother me to contradict myself. For one, I have no issues with changing my mind. Changing your mind is a good way to avoid making decisions you might regret later. Not that I am indecisive. I just hold my ideas and decisions as being "revisable." Secondly, I don't believe that I am, in reality, inconsistant. I just think that language and dialectic reasoning is too narrow to faithfully follow my way of thinking and being. There are gaps, seeming contradictions, and somethings that are just completely lost in translation. That last one is a good metaphor actually. Reality and reason are two different languages. Sometimes it seems there are parallels but there's never really a one-to-one relationship. It is important to realize that they are separate, however. Otherwise we tend to worship reason, and believe that it alone can tell us what do and think; but reason isn't what tells you that wine is good, that sunsets are beautiful, that hurting others is wrong, or that you love your spouse. Reason is useful, yes. It is not, however, sufficient for life, and if we rely on it too heavily, we will miss reality for the sake of an imagined idealized fiction - the way thing "should" be - instead of enjoying and experiencing the way things are. Sometimes it is better to take sensations, and experiences for what they are instead of trying to find meaning in them. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touch may tell us more when we aren't looking for specific answers to specific questions. The best and brightest ideas in history manifested without the subject actively looking for them. Sometimes when you pour all you know into a pot, stir it up and then let it settle, something truly genius floats to the surface. Anyhow this ti raid isn't accomplishing anything except allowing me to stir my own thoughts a bit to see what comes out.

Friday, December 10, 2010

What are dreams?

Heard somewhere that dreams are just random firings of the brain leaving vague general impressions which our conscious mind upon waking tries to make since out of by assigning names, identities, and meaning to things. Out of this second process we get the dream, colored by the biases of our subconscious during the process of sorting and labeling done by our conscious mind.

Need to look this up and verify if this is a real theory and what it's based on. BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Read my lips: AL-LEE-GAY-TORS...

For someone as anxious to get back to the sunny warm west as I am, I sure am taking my time leaving Louisiana - the land of Kermit. I had a 34 hour layover at my last stop waiting for the next load to be ready, then got a let start today. I could have pushed on to Dallas but I know what the truck stops are like there and the chances of me finding parking this late is slim to none, so instead I stopped in Shreveport, LA. That leaves me two solid 600 mile days to go, but I'm alright with that. If I can konk myself out early enough tonight, then I'll have an early start tomorrow and all will be peachy. Wish me luck!BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Is it a game or a movie or what?

Here's a game I recently tried out that I literally wrote home to my mom about. It's called Fable III, for the Xbox system, and though I know nothing about the franchise, I was able to learn one or two things about the game. To avid gamers these may not sound that remarkable, but they tickled me a bit.

First of all, besides having an actual film score (I got a copy from iTunes) this game has well known actors voicing the characters: actors like John Cleese (of Monty Python fame), Ben Kingsley (from films such as Ghandi, Schindler's List and Prince of Persia), Naomie Harris (Tia Dahlma from Pirates of the Carribean), Stephen Fry (V for Vendetta, Alice in Wonderland, the upcoming sequel to Sherlock Holmes), Bernard Hill (Titanic, Lord of the Rings, Great Expectations) and a bunch more. The visual style might fall loosely in the category of "Steam Punk" (do a image search on google or look it up on wikipedia and you'll get the general idea). Anyhow I thought it was pretty fantastic.

The game allows you to explore the world you are in, buy sell and trade goods, as well as real estate, developed relationships with locals, put together outfits for yourself, train your dog (which is your almost constant companion and can help you find anything from buried treasure to lost children - all on his own initiative and according to how you treat him and how well you train him), and of coarse there are battles to fight with your sword and trusty flintlock pistol among other weapons. Relationships and story lines developed according to how you treat and interact with people, and your own character developed according to what kind of decisions you make. I played for about four hours and was pretty well entertained the whole time, though not in the crazy addictive way that the Sims games tend to produce. No therapy needed to quit playing.

Anyhow, I'm not in any hurry to rush out and buy it or an Xbox system to play it on, but for those interested in fantasy fiction and such, it's worth seeing at some point. I like a good story especially when accompanied by rich visuals, good acting, and a good soundtrack. Well anyways, there it is. BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop