Saturday, December 31, 2011

Blog Fixed!

Yaay! Goodnight.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Most Unsatisfactory Day (Jeremiah complains about some stuff)

Today has just been LAAAAAAAME. It's been kind of a lame day. This morning's cold pizza, though usually quite satisfactory, was lame. Tough tasteless pizza jerky. Lame. I got off to a late start (also lame) and had some other lame experiences along the way. I'm stuck with audiobook reruns at the moment (kinda lame) since I can't afford to spring for fresh audiobooks at the moment. I got to a Truckstop in time for a cold shower (extremely lame) and in addition, the place I stopped for the night has no sit-down restaurants so I had to settle for McDonalds (the lameness is just getting started) which had no ice-cream products of any kind since their machine was broken (nominally lame) and which, though I was the only customer, took nearly 20 minutes (solidly lame) to serve up only 9 of the 10 (lame bonus!) fossilized chicken nuggets (lame score multiplier!) that I ordered. After I laughed that off, I went back to my truck intending to wind down with a Netflix movie BUT, AT&T has throttled down my connection speed so that it now takes 10 minutes to load 2 minutes of video (beyond lame) because they don't want to honor the "Unlimited" data plan that they signed me up for years back, but can't break the contract themselves so they are trying to coerce me into canceling it (forever) in favor of their current per MB plan (which is lame beyond description). So now here I sit, restless as the hours tick passed 3AM, un satisfied, unable to sleep and just generally feeling, well...lame. My truck is a mess, I have a delivery tomorrow that I need to rest up for, and now apparently my blog is broken (the background image is inexplicably missing), and when I try to login in to fix it I get this nice little error page (pictured below)...etc. etc. The lameness just goes on and on. If I can get to sleep somehow, maybe tomorrow will be better. How could it not be? Ok, don't answer that. Just...think happy thoughts. *big sigh*

Monday, November 07, 2011

Really Quick Update

Feeling much better. Got this flu thing pretty much licked.

Making plans to change my address to the Pacific, WA vicinity.

Somehow lost almost 30lbs over the last few weeks. I didn't really think I changed my habits that much, but apparently it's working.

Got my truck all fixed up finally so I've got heat, a/c and power for my winter travels.

Planning on making frequent trips to Portland and Olympia in upcoming months:)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Home Time Recap

Here's a recap of the last few days:
10/17 arrive at home yard, check truck into shop
10/18 try to update software on iPad - total fail. iPad completely out of commission.
10/19 - 10/21 awesome times at Nicole & Yannis's wedding!
10/21 - check in with shop re: repairs - shop says had no idea truck was ever checked in. Checked truck in second time. Get iPad all fixed up at Apple Store, and go back to truck yard in Fontana for the night.
10/22 - realize I left stuff at Ace hotel, drive back to Palm Springs to pick up and have more good times with newly weds and crew...throat starts to feel a little itchy, sinuses a tad sensitive.
10/23 - check in with shop. Shop says truck was never checked in for repairs. Check truck in for repairs for the third time. Call supervisor to give them a heads up. Definitely experiencing some sinus discomfort and post-nasal drip; did not sleep at all previous night. Later on truck is reported ready and Dispatch has a load for me. I agree to take load, then call back 20 minutes later and cancel as I am really starting to feel sick.
10/24 - miserably sick all day. Sinus pain, congestion, runny everything, chills, aching joints, pain and congestion in ears.
10/25 - much better than previous day but still congested in ears and developing a painful cough. Hoping for better tomorrow.
10/26 - unable to sleep due to sinus discomfort, congestion, and cough, so decided to write on my blog and tell everyone about it...

Sunday, October 16, 2011

It's been a while...

A lot has happened since my last post. I was offered a job as an apartment manager, and decided not to take it (for the time being - although I was sorely tempted to), I have re-arranged the way I do my banking so that now 50% of my paycheck goes into a savings account that I can only get to when on home-time (which has been both difficult and extremely beneficial), I had a horrific experience at a sleep study center which enlightened me to previously unimagined methods of torture (involving a c-pap machine), I had various familiar trials and conquests in the world of trucking, my best friend moved to Portland (reviving my interest in the city since now I have a place to crash and someone to hang out with there), my aunt and uncle moved to the Seattle area and my grandma is preparing to join them, my brother and his family moved to Cleveland and my mom is preparing to join them, my friend Jeremy McCool and family moved to a house in Apple Valley and I am fantasizing about joining them, I've taken up painting and am having delusions of grandeur about my future as an artist, I've become addicted to Terry Pratchett's Disc-world series on audiobook, I am officiating at my best friends' wedding, I got ordained online (for the wedding) so now apparently (according to the website) I am qualified to do weddings and absolve people of their sins, I finally found an effective sleep aid (melatonin) that helps me go to sleep without giving me a hangover the next morning, I've somewhat broken my addiction to my iPad...ummm let's see what else...I've discovered the wonders of having a George Foreman grill in my truck...I may be closing my Citibank account out of protest as soon as I can find a satisfactory credit union...ummm...I weigh about 330 lbs now and am a little concerned about that since I weighed only about 240 when I started trucking 4 years ago...I started flossing every day and now my teeth always hurt...what else? I think I am getting into the realm of extremely mundane details now so maybe I'll stop. I'll try to do another update after the wedding next week.

To sum up, I'm still very happy trucking, still making progress financially, still dreaming of a home in the desert (though now the dream includes an airstream trailer), still trying to improve my health, etc. More later.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Is digital art really art?

Short answer? I don't know. That's why I'm writing this post. I am hoping someone will have some feedback. I would love hearing people say, "yes of coarse it's art" but that's just my ego talking. In reality I suspect the answer is probably not quite that simple or flattering. Yes I believe it takes some creativity and skill to take visual concepts and translate them into digital media, and even though modern (or post-modern?) tools like the iPad make the experience of creating these images closer to the "organic" experience, it's still not the same. I would much prefer to be dealing with real paper, ink, paint, and canvas but at the moment I lack the space and the time to do so. What bothers me though, is that the images I am able to create digitally are much more stunning than what I could actually achieve with my bare hands working with raw materials. I have been struggling with how to think of this. The digital versions are still original, still my own work - in fact if I had the skill required (not to mention the time, space, and materials) it is exactly the kind of work I would be turning out. The difference is that while working with limited materials and resources is considered honorable in the art world (or at least the art world in my head), working with limited skill is not. In fact that is the other thing I miss about the organic art process; the sense of accomplishment after investing time and skill into a project. Creating something that is not only a product of my own imagination, but of my own time and skill.

This is going to sound completely unrelated, but often when I think of what I enjoy most about making art, I remember something I used to do as a kid. When I had a few hours to kill (or didn't feel like doing homework - which was always) I would take a pile of pennies, find a flat surface, and one by one stand them all up on their sides. Sometimes I would end up with a hundred or more up-ended pennies on my desk. I know it's not exactly art, but it took skill and patience and to this day was one of the most soothing activities I've wasted time on. This is the experience that I am always trying for when I sit down to make art, and to an extent, it is achieved while making "art" on the iPad.

The other consideration is the question of skill. I know from experiences I've had in the past that if I invest the time, many skills are really within my reach. The fact that I haven't invested the time bothers me, and I intend to remedy that at some indeterminate point in the future. Meanwhile I can hone some of the "little" skills (ones not requiring a lot of space or special materials) and that's worth something.

So is it art? I still don't know. You tell me. To me it is beautiful and it communicates something beyond language, even if the process is less "pure" than I would like. I consider the work I do on the iPad to be shadows of what I would do "organically" given the time and resources.

I hope this isn't to disillusioning to anyone who had assumed that the work they saw me post online was done by hand (or "only" by hand). If it is, sorry to burst your bubble, and no I'm probably not that good in "real life." I am always trying to be honest with my work but I also can't let guilt or thoughts of "I wish I could do this with real materials" hold back my imagination, so I guess I'll just keep doing what I've been doing and not worry about what to call it.

I value your comments and suggestions. Please share your thoughts.


Monday, June 13, 2011


It's a start anyway

Well, here's my first attempt at making art on the iPad. I am trying to get more original and rely less on stylized tools and push button effects but it's a start anyways.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

So many words, and nothing to write them on

I am trying to get organized so I can start writing again but I am despairing in my search for an app to manage (and reliably store online) my various writing projects. I tried Evernote, Notebooks, My Writing, Daedalus, etc, but each app lacked something or was to complicated and distracting to make an effective writing app. I liked organizing things in notebooks as in the Notebooks and Evernote apps, but Notebooks is not really handy when it comes to exporting, and Evernote is just way too complex and distracting. I might take a second look at Notebooks but I'm not very keen at the moment. Daedalus is very slick and simple with an easy way to back things up, but it's not real handy when trying to organize my story projects. There are the blogs of coarse, but like Daedalus, I'm not really satisfied with their organization capabilities. (Big sigh) well, maybe if I can weed my day-to-day notes out of Notebooks and use it exclusively for writing that might work. I dunno. It's a lot of tedious shuffling of files around and I'm not really thrilled about it right now. Time to grab some food and hit the hay. Something will work out.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

More Names

Leaf (f)
Bluejay, Blue Jay, Bleu Jae

Friday, March 11, 2011

Dear Los Angeles...

Dear Los Angeles,
I know it's been a while since I visited. I really do enjoy seeing you. I know it seems like we've grown apart lately. Don't worry, I still think you're beautiful - yes even the your gritty parts. In fact, those are the parts that make me love you most, precisely because so few really seem to appreciate that side of you. It's that part of you that's always worried about how much you weigh or if you're really keeping up with the fashionable crowd, or if your art is still relevant or always trying to compare yourself with New York or something, that gets annoying at times. Seriously. I guess there are some things about you that make me a little uneasy at times.
I think it's obvious that our relationship isn't what it once was. I've been seeing other cities, Los Angeles. I think you know about the affair I had with Portland. We're still sort of on again off again I guess. Then there was that short fling with San Francisco. You caught me checking out New York, but I swear I didn't go there.
How did we get here? I think sometimes I feel a little bit smothered by your constant need for approval and admiration. You are so unique, and so diverse - why can't you just be yourself and be happy with who you are? I don't care what kind of cars cruise your streets or what celebrities live in your neighborhoods. I don't care how involved you are in "the industry" or what pretentious degrees your colleges offer. That's not what I love about you. It's your diversity I enjoy - in your streets, your people, your food...these are what I come to you to savor; but you're too busy for me. You can't sit still - always rushing here and there trying to please this person or impress that person. You have no time for me, Los Angeles.
I think this is the reason, above all others, that we should just be friends. I really do think highly of you, and I'll still visit from time to time, but I don't think we have any long term potential. I just don't think we're compatible. Maybe it's not you, maybe it's me. I've changed, Los Angeles. I need space. I'll never forget you, Los Angeles, and I hope we can still be friends.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Sleep statistics for 18 - 19 Feb (Fri)

Went to bed / woke up: 0:20 / 8:27
Total time: 8h 06m

Analysis made by the Sleep Cycle iPhone app.

My sleep graph for the entire night:

Woke feeling very tired; did not feel rested.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A question of hours

So, according to my plans from last night, I should have started off for Rancho at 8:00 am or so this morning. It is now after 5:00 pm and I still haven't left. I woke up exhausted this morning and opted for more sleep. Now I am left with a few options:
1.) set out immediately, and drive a full 10 hours
2.) set out immediately, stop before midnight
3.) wait until I have a 34 reset (7:00 am tomorrow)

Setting out immediately and driving 10 hours
Instant gratification
Would arrive ahead of schedule
Would arrive in time to swap important items to/from storage
More miles for the week

Would have to drive all night
Would not improve my sleep patterns
Would waste potential reset hours

Set out immediately stopping before midnight
Instant gratification
Fewer hours to drive over next 2 days
Could possibly stop to stock groceries
Could possibly stop somewhere with showers

Wastes potential reset hours
Less time upon arrival

Set out tomorrow after reset
Facilitates normal sleep schedule
Uses downtime for a 34 hour reset
Could take more time to settle into truck

Little or no time on arrival
Less miles for the week
Unlikely I will be able to sleep much tonight having slept most of the day

Undoubtedly I have found myself in a funk. This has been a common occurrence when doing short runs on I-5. The only upside to this is the opportunity to swap some items in/out of my truck when I get to Rancho to make things more comfortable. The main downside is that I missed an opportunity to end up in Rancho with a whole day to kill, driving during optimal daylight hours.
Oh well. I know I will eventually get a good rhythm going again. I will just have to salvage this one the best way I can. I guess ultimately I can leave anytime between now and 7:00 am tomorrow and drive for up to 10 hours. I'll see what my gut tells me since all the various pros and cons pretty much make it a toss up. See you in a couple days. BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Sunday, January 23, 2011


It is interesting to see plans change and evolve. Amazing that there can be so many conflicting interests wrapped up in one person. Security, family, friends, freedom, love, comfort, serenity - all these things that tug us in various directions. There is the part of me that wants to travel, set foot on every content, see the great wonders of the world, then there's the part that wants to meet someone, wake up every day with them, spend my life savoring the difference of another person that is not me and yet trusts and cherishes me as much I them and each as much as ourselves, then there's the part of me that wants to bring up a child, introduce them to the marvels of the world, share my experiences and little wisdom, and watch them grow and surpass me, then yet another part of me that wants to bend all my experience and talent to a purpose, to use all my skill to see it flourish and succeed, to turn what I have into something bigger and better until the return on my investments supports me on it's own, while yet another part of me wants to create music and art, to reach a point where I can make it without thinking, where it just flows, to make something profound and timeless and true, and then there's a part of me that would love nothing more than to be a monk on some far off mountain in some far off country, to do nothing but ponder the mysteries of the universe and of myself, to meditate, and to live simply, purely, and serenely. Given unlimited time and resources, I would do all these and more. I'd study science for the pure pleasure of learning and seeing and discovering - from the atom to the cosmos; I'd read, I'd dig, I'd observe, anthropology, physics, geology, biology...
Time, unfortunately, is not unlimited, and we must make the best of what resources we have. Lately I have been setting aside many ideas that would have been good short term solutions, in favor of long term solutions. The things that I used to want "later" I am beginning to want now. Later is catching up with me.
There are still somethings that take precedent over others. The first is serenity. No, I'm not going to become a monk or any other sort of hermit, appealing as it sounds, because after serenity the next most important thing to me is family. This goes beyond the literal and somewhat overlaps with the next thing; friends. Somewhere mixed up in all that is security and comfort, which is in turn competing with the desire for love and intimacy, and with freedom. It is only after all that when the desire to teach, nurture, protect, and in all other ways enjoy raising up a young person asserts itself.
So, all my wants and wishes spring from, more or less, a desire for serenity, familial love, companionship, security, comfort, intimacy, freedom, and...I'm not even sure what to call the last one. Legacy? That sounds wrong. "Investing in hope" sounds more like it, but maybe even that is misguided. Perhaps it's a subconscious instinct to further the race, or to assert myself biologically on the gene pool. I don't really know. Of all my desires, it is the weakest, but even so it is there.

It is good to occasionally remind myself of what drives me and where my priorities are, and maybe this will clear things up for family and friends who don't seem to understand what exactly it is that I want out of life. Either that or it will just be vague rambling gibberish that only makes sense to me. Oh well. At the very least some future self will get a laugh out of it, reading it 10 years from now. How goes it Future Self? I hope I've done well for you! Anyhow, don't worry about me! Focus on the present! BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop