Friday, September 14, 2012

Year 34

As always, around the time of my birthday I try and reflect on where I am and where I'd like to be and come up with some resolutions for the next year of my life. It's been difficult to sort out priorities for this year, especially since I am still in the midst of the aftermath (in a manner of speaking) of changes I tried to implement in the latter half of my 33rd year (vis à vis shifting from a nomadic to relatively centralized lifestyle).
I am still not sure how I feel about the solution I ended up with. It's hard to determine how to value the things I have versus the things I want.
Currently I have a wonderful apartment that I can do little with, for lack of the funds to furnish it, a car to transport furnishings, the time and energy to install said furnishings, and the time to enjoy all of the above because I am doing so much driving just to pay for it all. In the mean time I am also trying to pay for the month that I was off work.
It's all very frustrating and difficult to sort out mostly because of the fact that even though the apartment is not enhancing my life much at the moment, eventually it is something I want. At the moment however, a car would be much more useful.
There are a couple ways I could handle the situation.

A. Move out of apartment (defaulting on 6 month lease) and get a storage unit, using the monthly savings to pay off debt and save up for car.

Pros: would be able to rapidly pay off debt and get a car.
Cons: would have to break lease agreement and would have a harder time applying for next apartment when the time comes - would also probably lose an apartment I really like for good.

B. Wait and try to slowly recover financially and save for a car

Pros: I get to keep the apartment.
Cons: would be spending a lot of money on interest, and would be stuck out on the road most of the next year, with no car at "home" and apartment that feels more like a storage unit.

B.01 Same as above only working as a fleet manager instead of driving (assuming position pays comparable wages)

Pros: keep apartment and more time at home enjoying apartment I am paying for. Time and possibly more motivation to spruce the place up.
Cons: Still no car. Still paying gobs of interest. Also, fewer opportunities to visit family across country.

A.01 Wait for lease to expire and then move into storage unit.

Pros/Cons: some of the best and worst of the above.

So yeah. I suppose if I could boil it down to basic principles it's this:

1.) I want to continue working for Interstate Dist. Co. in some capacity appropriate to my skills, experience and temperament.
2.) I want to continue to use the Tacoma / Olympia area as my home base, for practical and social reasons.
3.) A car would greatly enhance my life both practically and socially.
4.) I'd really like to have a living space I can call home, and would prefer it to be my current apartment, though part of me also feels that this is silly and materialistic. There are some social and practical benefits to this, but not as many.

It's a dilemma to be sure but I think if I don't lose focus on what I really value, I'll see some way through.

All in all, it is a trifling and petty sort of dilemma and I'm very lucky to have the options that I have. Even so I'll be glad when it is resolved.